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JD Halperin, one of the internet’s premier writers, is looking to hire a team of interns! What’s that rumble? Oh, that’s people clamouring for the hippest, most creative gig in the city. If you’re looking to be a cog in the wheel or work in a sterile cube farm, look elsewhere! We here at JDHalperin.com work hard and play hard because we’re young and cool. So, if you’re a university student looking to increase your portfolio, a professional writer/editor whose career needs a boost, or a reprobate trying to turn his life around, apply herein.

To be my ideal intern, you must have:

• Belligerence, truculence, testosterone and a high threshold for pain.

• A scepticism of shamans, witch doctors, and advocates of social justice.

• Scorn for child-rapists, politicians, religious figures and the masses.

• Food and whiskey.

Currently there are big plans in the works for monetization, but as of now remuneration for this internship is non-fungible. So, if you’re a highly-motivated and creative self-starter who works well with little or no supervision, don’t miss this wonderful opportunity to land a position with a great brand in a dynamic work environment (my kitchen) where there are lots of opportunities for growth and expansion (namely into other sections of my living room).

Since resumes are boring and banal, please apply by writing a 3000 word response to one of these five topics:

1. Contemporary gender roles and sexual identity is a fluid concept constantly on guard against patriarchal stereotypes. Discuss as it pertains to the case of Ray Finkle and Lois Einhorn.

2. “A philistine is a full-grown person whose interests are of a material and commonplace nature, and whose mentality is formed of the stock ideas and conventional ideals of his or her group and time.” Apply and unpack Nabokov’s definition of the philistine as it pertains to the OISE administration.

3. Can horror be quantified? Compare and contrast the destruction during the German blitz of London 1940, the RAF bombing of Dresden 1945, and the self destruction of the Leafs’ season during February & March 2012.

4. “Race is purely a human construction.” Would Ralph Ellison’s novel be different if the nameless invisible man was white?

5. “Could it be possible? This old saint in the forest has not heard anything of this, that God is dead!” Using textual support and three critical secondary sources, answer: was Zarathustra being sarcastic?

Responses can be emailed to Halperin.Jeff@gmail.com–serious applicants only. Unfortunately, due to the volume of expected incoming traffic we can only respond to those being strongly considered.

Best of luck. Love,